Monday, April 7, 2008

CotAB: Entry 5: (overmyer dead body!)

So... is it, like, my turn to blog? Sorry. I guess it's been my turn for a few weeks now. Sorry! I had no idea it was my turn. My bad.

Well, when we last left our awesome pumped-up heroes (us), they (we) were about to kill a freakin' genie (it).

Sorry. That third person thing isn't working well. I'm new at this! Everyone else in the party is older than I am. They all had this sissy training to do whatever they do. That's why I'm the only one without a saggy bottom. So I got no schoolin' and as a fighter, I'm doin' most of the work. Cheap.

Tangent. My bad. Sorry.

As I was saying, we had a barn full of genie to wail on. We did. Hard and totally. After cruising through the town knocking off some dark elf goons, we discovered (actually the internet told us) that the genie has less protection if we take it to the streets first. Genies usually give out three wishes. It's a travesty that we don't get any wishes at all when we actually kill one.

The town we saved seemed to give off a lot of the same vibe as Santo Poco.

Haptooth wasn't finished with los banditos oscuros just yet. The dark tower we think was mentioned by (I think) the old man from scene 24 (Derfindor briefly mentioned him in the last entry) still teemed full of treacherous villainy. We were set to head straight off to the tower, but for some reason Admiral Akabar led us through disposing of the treacherous villainy of a nearby cave first.

The way was guarded by another old man from scene 24. Or maybe he was the same guy. I really have no idea. All I know is that we totally made that Holy Grail reference in our last entry before any of us came to the following exchange:

Did we mention these elves are dark? I always thought dark elves were actually orcs. Maybe I'm getting real-life mixed up with what I see in the movies.

Some cave inhabitants were nice enough to warn us of the inherent dangers of a cave full of all manner of treachery. At this point we really didn't know who Crimdrac was. All we knew was we needed to get to the tower to find some hotshot red mage. Other variables were extremely unwelcome at this point.

Eventually we bumped into Amanda Overmyer and she was totally nice enough to help out.

After speaking with Amanda, many of the dark elves and salamanders left us alone. We also knew exactly who we were headed to: Dracandros. So Crimdrac took us completely by surprise.

You know what? We were freaking tired by this point, so (actually I'm pretty sure it was Pilgrim's idea) we totally surrendered. I'll tell you what, even though this freaking dracolich is the stuff of my direst nightmares, he's a pretty cool guy. Pretty much he just nudged us up the stairs to the wizard's tower. No questions asked! See kids? Sometimes it pays to take the path of the sissy.

I worked really hard on this Haptooth and Cave map so don't mock it!

I could go into detail about the events that happened next, but I may as well simply copy the literal version of what happened. No reason to fudge the details.

Tyranthraxus? Feh. Can't believe his name is in writing and everything. We already killed the guy. Why we gotta deal with that bugger twice? Perhaps I should've waited around in Tilverton instead of doing that whole Phlan adventure. Whole thing may have been a complete waste of time. Better yet, maybe Silver and Chlorine should have taken my advice and torched the whole castle in Phlan. Maybe it would've prevented Tyr from making another appearance. Hopefully we don't have to deal with this Mistinarperadnacles guy. It took me long enough to figure out how to say "Tyranthraxus."

Attack the dragons? We may be brave, but we got no death wish! Except for maybe Chlorine.

So that's my entry! Hope you enjoyed it! As you can see, we're right in the middle of some life and death shiz right now, so maybe I'll have a chance to blog again, if we're lucky.

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